Still sick - but an impending diagnosis?

Hi gang.  Yesterday I was at my lowest ebb in weeks.  I'd had NO sleep the night before and had to be at the hospital at 8:00am for an ACHT (adrenal) stimulation test.  This is the test I tried to do a couple weeks earlier but had a panic attack and the procedure was postponed.

Thankfully, my friend took me yesterday for the next try.  Good thing, after a long fast and no sleep, I was a drained to the bone.  Her help kept me calm enough for the test.  Then she took me to the endo clinic where I proceeded to break down again (it's impossible to contain my anxiety and emotions anymore, hard as I try).  Anyway the upshot of that was that they decided to do the blood draws for CELIAC testing right then in the office with other specimens delivered to the diagnostic center the next day.

Also I was told that I am NOT hypoglycemic. Yay!  In fact, they say I am like millions of other Americans - PRE- diabetic. Boo!   (I'll have to work on THAT!).   Also found out that my Hashimoto's count shows that my thyroid is leaning toward HYPERthyroidism right now, which would account for some of the symptoms.  Unfortunately (or fortunately - less drugs to rely on) the counts aren't bad enough to warrant  HRT replacement at this point.  That was the good of the visit.

The not-so-good was that I was once again pointed toward a therapist/ psychiatrist for the rampant anxiety and growing depression.  At that moment I thought - yeah, I could use some help getting a grip.

But then --- last night -- I read a book: "Jump Start Your Gluten-free Diet" by the University of Chicago Celiac Disease Center.  (Free - downloadable - ibook; ebook; PDF)

Oh my gosh.  There.  In the book.  Where SO MANY of my symptoms, among them: weight loss, tingling/numbness in the legs, osteopenia, peripheral neuropathy, anemia (untested as yet) and - waaaait for it -  "Psychiatric disorders such as anxiety or depression."  There are other symptoms I have, but too indelicate to include here. *heh*

But, see!  I. AM. NOT. CRAZY.

Then, this morning - some GREAT NEWS!  The ACTH test results were in. Phone message:  "Miss ...., you DO NOT HAVE an ADRENAL insufficiency."  She said it twice.  Slowly.  (I deserved that attitude.  I've given the office so much grief.)   No adrenal fatigue.  No Addison's disease.  Hurray!

Add that good news to (an unprecedented) 8 hours of sleep last night and I'm feeling pretty good right now. 

Now a week for the latests tests to confirm something on this list: Celiac disease, non-celiac gluten sensitivity, wheat allergy, or FODMAP sensitivity (fermentable 'saccharides).  I don't doubt but one of these will be the culprit, especially since I have Hashimoto's disease (the same autoimmune action that can cause Celiac's).

Spelt pancakes: fluffy, delicious and
now (most likely) forbidden!

Bottom line, I'm thinking therapy will do no good if this emotion is disease related.  But KNOWING what's CAUSING it WILL!  I won't be sitting and shaking and thinking the worse.  I'll KNOW it's a wave of emotion from poor nutrition absorption, etc.   Until the final diagnosis, however, I must continue to eat gluten every day to keep up the anti-body counts for the bloodwork, specimen tests and, ultimately, an endoscope exam.  Luckily, according to the book, I can get enough gluten daily from a single cracker or half a slice of wheat bread.  I don't have to be shoving down a stack of pancakes or bowls of Kashi (darn, I love that stuff).  The rest of my diet can be less damaging and I won't be so afraid of eating anymore.

I felt good enough to run errands all morning, then after lunch I watered all the veg in the garden and seedlings on the deck.  I'm winding down now.  No sense over-extending, especially since I could be down and out tomorrow just as soon as not.  Still, the KNOWLEDGE what might/must be happening will go a long way toward calming so many of my fears.

I'll keep you posted.  Meanwhile, I think a snack and a nap is in order - both well deserved at this point. :-D  Bless you all for your comments.  They're are so welcome and comforting.  *hugs*

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Friday morning update
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It didn't last long.  I'm back to feeling like total crap again.  Little sleep with night sweats.  I'm glad I blogged yesterday when I was feeling so hopeful.  You all deserved a positive entry.  And lord knows I deserved a good day to remember who I really am under all this sickness.

I'm very sick...

... and have no energy to post.  Please don't forget me.

So far:  Hashimoto's thyroidosis.  Perhaps adrenal fatigue as well.  Most likely Celiac's too.  Complicated by random crashing blood sugar. I'm losing weight fast and falling into depression.

Treatments?  Nothing offered so far.  It's always, "Let's wait until we do some more tests..."  It's SO hard waiting when I feel so bad every day.

I wish real doctors were like TV doctors.  Boy, that's real fantasy, though.  Complete concentration, lots of disciplines working together, bedside manner and attentiveness.  Hard to get that in a 15-minute appointment....

Keep a good thought for me.  Thanks....

I'm still here...

... just ... not well enough to blog.  Don't give up on me.

I've had 3 of these 'seizure things' in 3 days and am a basket case.  I'm seeing both the neurologist's PA in the morning and then my cardiologist later. 

I'm not sure this is glucose related after all.  It may be I'm going through a very very bad withdrawal from 10 years of lopressor.  My body doesn't know how to act itself anymore after the lopressor having so much control for so long.

I'll work up an entry when I'm feeling better - and aren't so anxious and distraught.  It's hard to think straight anymore.

Keep a kind thought for me.  And thanks for your comments -- they help so much.

Good news, bad news, hopeful news

Well, yesterday (Tuesday) was .... interesting.  (I'm getting to hate that word.)

First some good news.  After 3 years of enduring the ravages of d^mn deer, the 3 prairie fire crabtrees that I planted at the same time as the Robinisons in the crab bed, are in full bloom this year!  Sure you'll notice that all of the bottom branches have had to be cut off - all broken/ eaten by deer, but I guess (hope!) that the rest are now growing out of reach of the 4-legged plague.  I really like how deep the color of the blooms are (compared to the Robinsons which are a decided light pink).

Notice the teeny weeny one on the right?  That thing used to be twice as big, but now a mere shadow of itself due to deer.  There are few branches left, but still, this year, somehow those buds were overlooked and are blooming away like the big guys.  I call it - The Little Prince.

Now, for the bad news.  Yesterday, around 11:00 am, I suddenly realized I was going to have another of those terrifying episodes of fizzing, weakness, panic, etc.  I knew it was coming.  I don't know how.... but it was.  It's like if you were in a room and everything looked fine and then somehow, the light changed and things didn't 'feel' the same.  That's what I felt.  These episodes are like nothing else that I've had in the past - this isn't prickles/numbness, this isn't hunger/light-headedness.  This was --- different.  And scary.   What the hell could these be?  What?

I'm relatively smart.  And lately, I've had to get smarter (as my doctors seem to be getting dumber).  These episodes start from the middle of my head, move down my neck and then I'm in full fainty - abject fear mode.   Now what....

I headed for the web.  And found an answer.  And it was terrifying.  I may well be having hypoglycemia-induced seizures.  Not enough glucose in my brain.  Probably compounded by my continued dehydration problem (I'm drying out no matter how much fluid I get).   Y'see, I give these symptoms to my GP and she wants me to see a shrink.  I TOLD her I'm hypoglycemic.  Did she react?  Did she offer to do any glucose testing?  Did she give a damn?  No.

At the first 'hit' on the web, I ran and got some glucose tablets, chewed them down, then slurped down a Klondike bar while I continued to research.  These spells sure read like seizures.  (Don't panic.  The glucose tablets went right to my blood/brain and, thankfully, reduced this current event to a minimum, though the 'hangover' from it lasted most of the rest of the day.)

Now the good news.  While at the neurologist on Friday, I convinced him to refer me to an endocronologist.  I WAS worried about my hypoglycemia and even though it was NOT in his bailiwick, he asked if I was fatigued?  Hell yes!  Okay, he referred me to an endocrinologist.  How fortunate.  By yesterday, however, I'd not heard from the endo people (and with this new discovery, I needed attention RIGHT NOW) so called over there to see when they were making my appointment based on the referral.  "What referral?"  You guessed it - no paperwork was ever sent.  *FUME*   I explained the situation and they set up an appointment and then I called the neuro people and got them to fax the referral.  GOOD FRACKING GRIEF do I have to do everything?

So tomorrow (Thursday) should be busy.  Not only do I have a Therapy evaluation for the cervical DDD in the morning, I have an appointment with the endocrinologist in the afternoon.   Maybe now I'll get some answers - or help.  Because I never knew (and it was never explained to me by my GP) that hypoglycemia is not just "oh eat something, you'll feel better".   No!  Without sufficient glucose in the blood and the very-demanding brain, you can have seizures!  Or worse...

So tomorrow, hopefully, we'll take my endocrine system to the shop and have all those pesky little glands put up on the rack, so to speak.  Because somewhere, something is very very out of whack....  Please, keep your fingers crossed that the 6th time (with doctors) turns out to be the charm.  I'm so due for one!

Dirt therapy

Gosh, I'm well and truly bushed, cream-crackered (I love this British-ism) if you will.  I've spent Friday and Saturday getting stuff done in the gardens with the help of Craig and his helpful son, N.

After my follow-up visit to the neurologist (like I said, all he did was comment that the scans were clear and even though I mentioned that my right face/neck/arm went totally numb on 2 separate occasions, he said basically - he's got nothing to offer me) the stress level had ramped up.  Thankfully N. came in the afternoon and I got a good dose of dirt therapy.

Between the two of us we accomplished (among other things):

* Removed the rest of the ill-advised landscape fabric from around the shrubs along the driveway - without wood chips (supply dried up), I kept mowing over the fabric and spraying it all over the nabe's lawn;
* raked up all the scuffle-hoed debris from the fence, veg, fertile crescent beds (which I'd done over the previous 2 days) and hauled the piles of weeds back to the compost;
* pulled up all the tripods, lattice and tomato stakes from the crescent bed;
* fetched 5 mature lavender plants from Mom's gardens (once something gets to full-size, she tends to yank stuff out deciding she suddenly 'doesn't like it');
* pushed around a couple barrow-loads of dirt and found most of the chipmunk holes, sunken spots in the lawns and pounded them full so the mower doesn't bounced into them - jarring my neck & back;
* moved a roll of wooden snow fence back to the shed; 
* transplanted a gi-normous rhubarb crown from the old veg bed, split it and planted it in one of the 3 (installed last Fall) raised beds back by the golf course;

*Whew*   Around six (4 hours later) I was a wreck but still I asked N. if he wanted more hours.  Sure!  (*pant* - a mixed blessing of a response if ever there was one)  Thankfully - about 10 minutes later he said - "Okay if I just come back tomorrow?  I'm kinda tired...."  Yay.  I would have soldiered on, assuming he wouldn't be back for a couple of weeks...

Saturday morning (early) Craig came gave the new veg bed a 3rd and final tilling as well as a quick run over the fertile crescent part of the ring bed.  Now both can be planted up - and then it will need sturdy deer protection.

N. arrived before noon and in 2.5 hours we:

* planted the 5 'rescue' lavender plants,
* cut back half-a-dozen HUGE butterfly bushes to the ground (to regrow),
* collected all the recently-fallen branches from around the yard,
* filled more sink holes
* etc.

And, like Friday, while he was busy, I was mowing lawns and BAGGING the clippings.  Since he was available to wrestle the full bags and dump them on beds, I was eager to collect as much as I could as the lawns this Spring are thick and lush and growing fast.

I'm so glad we got so much done, but I'm sure looking forward to a nice quiet Sunday!  I noticed the asparagus is popping so that's certainly on the menu today and I think there is a good film coming on this afternoon.  Just what the doctor ordered.  (Well, not any of MY doctors.... idiots.)

A tale of two trees

I planted these two Robinson crabapple trees back in April, 2010.  They had a few blooms that first year and more in 2011 and 2012.

This year, however, on of them is bright and bountiful while the other is barely there.  I wonder why one has blooms all along the branches while the other only has them at the tips?

A couple of years ago my front crabapple did the same thing - just tip blossoms.  I don't know why crabs do that.  I thought it might be weather related, but the two in the crab bed say otherwise as they enjoy the same conditions.  Go figure.

As you can see, the front crabapple is in full splendor and, if the rains come this year, I may have a bumper crop of crabapples.  I hope so, as I'm totally out of crabapple jelly!

Meanwhile, I wait patiently for my favorite crabapple tree to bloom - the unknown white.  The buds are swelling now and should be in glory in about a week.  It's not to be missed. :-D

Losing ground

First off - the good news.  I've spent some time this morning playing catch-up with my side-bar blog pages.  You'll find new stuff on 4 pages:

Chef's Table,
Plant Propagation,
Vegetables, and
Garden Projects.

You'll find that, aside from my crabbing about my failing health, I DO manage to get some fun things done around here lately!  Hope you'll click your way over there (from the sidebar links) and check things out.

After 3 years, the redbud tree is actually blooming. 
(Note the LOUSY mortar job on my chimney. 
It serves as 2 reminders:
1) even the 'good guys' can screw up and
2) stress can cripple you if you don't do something about it

Then, the bad news.  Yesterday I had, what I considered, a day of light activity (shopping and errands, then bringing up those plants from the basement (see Vegetable Page)).  I seemed to be no worse than normal then, last evening as I sat down to catch up on some blog reading, my right side was flushed with 'fizz' and numbness.  My head felt like a ton and a really bad headache.  I was afraid I was going to faint.

I can, in retrospect, think what MAY have happened.  Severe neck pinch (and nary a Vulcan in sight!) which caused my right side to start to go numb.  All the rest: nausea, shaking, fear, fast heart rate, feeling faint were likely the result of a (totally understandable) panic attack from the sudden numbness onset.

It took me several hours (and a long phone call with a friend, Lauree - who has been a ROCK during this whole health fiasco) to get me through the worst of the panic while the adrenaline worked out of my system and the pain in my head/neck subsided.

This morning my face is numbish and neck is very stiff.  One thing during our phone call last night,she encouraged me to get some PT for my neck.  It may help things and it can't hurt.  I do have an order (Rx) for same from the neuro-surgeon and will call the therapist today (Update: evaluation appt May 9 - yay!).  I also have (FINALLY!) a follow-up visit this Friday to the neurologist who has left me dangling after my tests taken back in MARCH.

Otherwise, the sun is shining and I'm supposed to mow the lawns today.  I'll have to think about that one... (Another update - yep, I mowed.  Only partly and with lots of breaks.)