Wednesday dawned full of hope and sunshine. The weather was delightful and promised to be in the 70s (the week's been in a warming trend).
The hope was generated that I had an
appointment with a new doctor at the Center for Neuro/Spine. I expected
info, answers and guidance. I'd been looking forward to this for
weeks! The numbness is just so frightening...
I came back the sun was still warm and bright, the birds were singing
their little hearts out, and the daffs were at their peak of buttery
I, on the other hand, was
frustrated, angry and scared - again. What I'd hoped for and what I got
were so poles apart that I actually broke down and wept in front of the
doctor. I'd been told this practice specialized in neurological/spine
issues of which DDD is one. When I asked for info on my brain scan
(apparently totally clean by the report and scans I picked up myself
last month), he waved them away. "If you've got numbness, you better
see a neurologist." Wha? I said I was there for my DDD AND the
numbness it causes. He said, "DDD doesn't cause numbness." And that
was that. Here I'd hoped to find a more caring practitioner of the
neuro arts, but instead found another dipsh!t doctor. When I mentioned
the HUNDREDS of cases I've read on the internet, info from the Mayo
clinic, testimony from nurse practicioners who HAVE DDD and numbness, he
practically sneered and said, "Most everything on the internet are lies." But
if I had any questions about DDD he'd answer them (as he offered none). So I had him
interpret the jargon on the neck MRI. (Total tokenism on my part: I'd learned everything about the jargon AND everything he bothered to tell me about DDD I'd already found - ON THE WEB. He gave no new info or any reason for me to think he was worth the trip.)
the end all he said was: you've got it, it's not going to get
better, only worse, the only thing you can do is get some PT to build
your core muscles to support your spine and (wait for it), when you need
surgery, then come back. Riiiight.
Y'see - I've found out that
Canton has ONLY 2 neuro practices within 25 miles: One a bunch of
neurosurgeons and the other a bunch of neurologists. Now my experience
shows me that the former is as uncaring and unresponsive as the latter
and both are no better than my GP in this situation. When I thought all
my prayers were going to be answered at this last appt, I'd postponed
(not canceled) that follow up visit to the neurologist. That's sched'd
for May 3rd.
Oh, I'll go. Just to see what he says.
Me? I've decided that based on all my (by now pretty darn extensive)
reading that my intermittent (though persistent) numbness (everywhere)
is caused by pinched nerves in my spine due to DDD. Now we'll just
wait and see what new denial the neurologist will present in May.
Should be hilarious. I just hope I can keep myself from laughing...
I was so angry when I got home I was ready to kick down a shed or
something. Luckily a cooler head prevailed and to find out my
therapy-of-choice that day - CLICK HERE.
next day - AFTER that therapy (walks & garage visit), I was
calm and up-beat and was going to do some garden work. But first I
needed to change a light bulb in the garage. I got up the ladder,
reached over my head and *snap* just that fast the right side of my
head, neck and arm when dead-fish numb. Oh for the love of God!
took me beating on it for a couple of minutes to get feeling back in
it. So much for optimistic and upbeat. Hello total fear again.
The same thing had happened a week ago. I thought it was an anomaly. Crap. I sat and fumed and thought: I could go inside, rock and angst - or - stay outside (near 80s now), steer, and angst. I chose the latter. At least something would get done. So I mowed the front an side lawns for a couple hours.
Friday the weather turned - really high winds and an 1/4" of rain.
Which froze last night. We went from a high of 80 Thursday to 29 this morning.
And, at this very moment, SNOW.
I know these health posts are mostly unread, but keeping this problem to myself does me no good, spirit-wise (alone with no family support) or info-wise (clueless medicos). I'm hoping one day someone with similar symptoms/diagnosis may stumble upon them and offer help or direction. Until then, please don't stop reading the blog. It's not all gloom and doom here at the Sanctuary. Honest!