Saturday, June 15, 2013

More worries

Last Thursday night we had a big storm.  I was worried not only for myself, but for my Mom who lives alone.  She wouldn't come spend the night with me, nor did she want me to stay with her.  So, after making myself climb up a ladder and clean her gutters (prep for the rain), I went home and worried all night, getting no sleep.

In the morning I had a follow up with the neurologist regarding the EEG.  It was normal.  He said he just couldn't help me since he couldn't find anything wrong.  While leaving I re-iterated those 'spells' I had.  His eyes got big.  Obviously the PA did NOT give him the information I gave her about those spells.  He says I may have a problem with my autonomic systems that control blood to my brain.  It's these 'spells' that are making my life miserable.  In fact, as I was checking out, a wave of weakness, dizziness and fear washed over me and I could barely stand up during the checkout procedure.  (I was so confused that I didn't even mention it to the girl checking me out that I was feeling bad.) I was down that day and most of next morning, unable to do anything but shake and cry.  I had to have a friend drive me to the gastro appointment the next morning where I was so weak/shaky I had to have a wheelchair to get to the doctor's office.

The gastro listened and checked the bloodwork, saw no celiac and we didn't schedule an endo at this point.  What we DID end up discussing were my mammograms.  (He's not just a gastro surgeon, but a general one to boot.)  I told him my idiot GP doesn't discuss my leg that is losing muscle mass, my fatigue, and my mamos, only reads what the radiology report says.  No other info.  When he learned I had to have a mamo next week (the 24th) for a SIX-month checkup, he got concerned. Why?  I didn't know.  He called up my last few mammograms and asked when did my GP last do a breast exam.  I said maybe 8 months.  He wasn't happy and he did an immediate breast exam.  Not only could he feel what was on the mamo's, but ... he found something new.   So instead of a mere 'screening' the GP had scheduled, now I'm in for that and an ultrasound - maybe a biopsy.

Yesterday afternoon my head 'cleared' and I felt better.  Then I did something STUPID.  I went outside and did a bit of work.  But reaching overhead and then bending up and down, I triggered another attack of what might be sycope.  I'm so angry that I can't do anything without making me sick.  And I'm sick of being sick.  And, on top of that, the gastro explained to my mother (she had an appt too) that her cancer counts are up and she has to have work ups to see if her colon cancer (6 years past) has gotten into her liver or lungs.  I also found out from  her yesterday(!) that she's had a persistent cough for the past 6 months.  Oh good God.

I've let the gardens go.  I don't weed.  I pay someone to mow the lawn.  I can barely keep the house clean.  It's hard to make food because I can seldom eat...  And I doubt I can help my Mom. Right now all I want to do is move into some kind of assisted facility,  lay down, and do nothing.

As for the autonomic thing?  Now I have to have my cardiologist give me a 'tilt table' test to see if my arteries expand and contract when they are supposed to so my blood pressure and brain blood flow is compromised.  I tell you, I just want to crawl into a hole and cry because nothing is getting better, but everything is getting worse.  And being here alone all day all my mind can do is race from fear to fear.

Can it be this possible for someone apparently healthy scant months ago to come to this so quickly?  How did it happen?   Are there so many different things wrong with me all of a sudden or is there some underlying element triggering all of this?  But since doctors don't play well together, they only see the pieces, not the whole.

And the whole thing is going south....

P.S.  And, lately, my lower left jaw aches.  What now? Get the Dentist involved?  Why not... *sigh*

Later in the afternoon:  Emergency call to dentist - I discovered gum swelling - I have an abscess.  Taking antibiotics (and doubling up my probiotics to protect the intestinal flora).  Good God, what NEXT????


  1. Kris - Have you done a check of the chemicals in your house? What cleaning materials do you use regularly? Even shampoo, toothpaste and soap?

    Hope all goes well with the screening / ultrasound - for both you and your mother.

    1. My cleaning is vinegar, natural dish soap, simple face soap. I'm not into chemicals, even in the garden... And I certainly don't even use a lot of those because I really don't care for housework. *heh*

  2. Wow-this sucks. And I hate to say this, but maybe the dr.s are giving you the "works" because that is what they do now??? I went through this. They took me on the ride of a lifetime. Only when I figured out what the problem was did I get any relief.
    I don't know exactly what YOU have......but I'd start researching the hell out of it on the internet. That's where I found relief.
    Best to you. I sure wish I could help..........

    1. Each discipline do what they do - and honestly all this DID (maybe still does) present itself as neurological. The DDD in the mix doesn't help. The mammograms are terribly worrisome and I couldn't believe my luck that my gastro stepped up to THAT plate. I trust that Dr. completely - he saved my Mom from cancer. I'm thinking now that the 'spells' could be caused by NOT taking lopressor anymore. Honestly, I'm in a frame of mind to suggest to the cardio that I start taking it again and see if my heart rate slows down and the 'spells' go away. As for the abscess... I'm just one unlucky SOB these days. And the trouble with searching the Internet - the more I research the more my symptoms match most EVERYTHING possible out there! I don't know what you have/had, but I'm glad you found a way out. Anything you can talk about?

  3. Kris, all I can say is I am sorry....doesn't help I know but just know that I think about you and hope you can get to the bottom of all this.

    Forget the yard and housework....they are really not important now.

    1. Thanks, Glenda. This is all becoming so surreal. You'd never believe it if you read it in a novel - you'd laugh at the author and toss the thing away. It's all so crazy. Like right now - I feel okay. My appetite is back, but now I can't EAT anything because my jaw is so painful (and I'm afraid to take pain med in case it triggers a 'spell' again). Yep - unbelievable.

  4. You're right Kris, this is surreal. It wasn't so long we had that wonderful 'visit' on the phone and as you've said yourself, you just were not the person then that you are now.

    I'll email, anything else I want to say isn't for a public comment :}. xxx


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