More loss - perhaps too much for me

The tree people that took down the front green ash trees left and never came back to finish the job.

I finally had to ask my friend to take down the dead blue ash in the backyard.

He came yesterday and began the process.

It was so painful to watch.

So much has gone wrong this past month and I am having a great deal of trouble trying to process everything.

The trees, the tradesmen, my health.  

Our presidential election (which turned out WAS rigged - in Trump's favor: Putin interference/ Wikileaks; the Electoral College) has me in a pit of despair.  Last time I felt like this was 54 years ago when I was 15 and President Kennedy was on TV telling us that we may have to have a nuclear war.

International news is equally vile - Turkey government has gone mad, rounding up Tens of Thousands of innocent citizens that he accuses of being involving a coup.  So many 'coup suspects', that he is emptying his prisons of real convicts to make room for his new prisoners.

He's also building 170 more prisons to make room for even more citizens.

The world has gone mad.

Meanwhile, tree cleanup will take several days.

Y'know, I'd rather have heard that an asteroid was coming to wipe out the earth than this planetary political gore.

At least we'd have faced THAT threat as a whole instead of the vicious division that now pits us against each other.  There is little comfort to be had amongst ourselves.

Today is my birthday.  A hollow victory to live this long.  So much loss. I am past depression and now mostly despondent.  I feel overwhelmed, vulnerable, and helpless to effect anything.  Paralized by fear, no doubt.

My doctor told me in 2013 that I should not have alcohol, it could further destroy my thyroid with the Hashimoto's Disease, so I haven't had a drop for 3 years. Last night I opened a nice Pinot Grigio that's been in the basement since then.  After a glass I was able to take a deep breath for the first time in almost a week without feeling a need to cry.

Time to bring the rest of these soldiers upstairs. I have very little hope for the future at this point.

God help us all. 

==  I've decided this is my last post at this time; I'm sure few of you care to read this downward spiral.  Don't know if I'll be back. Good luck. == 

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Please visit this site to view progress of the petition and consider signing.  Tens of thousands are quietly protesting in cities across the country.  Most of us don't have the opportunity to do that.  But a petition IS something we can make time for, must make time for.  Thank you.

Link to: Electoral College PETITION

PETITION to Electoral College to affirm POPULAR VOTE of 2016 election